Joke thread...

NO POLITICS
NO BAD JOKES
Too crude and it'll get filed under B
;-)
vic

Re: Joke thread...

Post by vic » Thu Mar 14, 2013 9:09 pm

Hi All

Just been to the doctors and i said every time i drink a cuppa tea i get a sharp pain in my right eye, he said take the spoon out

Vic
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Bunker
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Re: Joke thread...

Post by Bunker » Thu Mar 28, 2013 10:53 pm

A welshman walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says: " I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
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Re: Joke thread...

Post by 12 royal » Sun Mar 31, 2013 11:22 am

Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship.............
she replied "wear a seat belt and don't piss me off "
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Re: Joke thread...

Post by Bunker » Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:12 am

Two women were playing golf. One teed off

and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men
playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his
hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in
agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.

"Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve
your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.
*
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine
in a few minutes," the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal
position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

At her persistence,
however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid
them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered
tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?"
*
"Feels great," he replied, "but I still
think my thumb's broken!"
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Re: Joke thread...

Post by twmtomos1 » Tue Apr 09, 2013 7:04 pm

Good one :lol: :lol:
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Re: Joke thread...

Post by Wirralman » Thu Apr 11, 2013 5:59 pm

she has only been in Hell 5 minutes and already she's closed down 4 furnaces
In keeping with the modern way of playing tunes at funerals such as 'Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye', 'Always look on the bright side of life', 'Angels' etc, there's a rumour that someone wanted 'Don't cry for me Argentina'- the Foreign Office weren't impressed.
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Re: Joke thread...

Post by ZIP TIE » Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:26 pm

Wirralman wrote:
she has only been in Hell 5 minutes and already she's closed down 4 furnaces
In keeping with the modern way of playing tunes at funerals such as 'Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye', 'Always look on the bright side of life', 'Angels' etc, there's a rumour that someone wanted 'Don't cry for me Argentina'- the Foreign Office weren't impressed.

I think this may be more apt
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vic

Re: Joke thread...

Post by vic » Fri Apr 12, 2013 5:25 pm

Hi All

Now then pop pickers that will be number one on sunday

Vic

ps
now then pop pickers Eric will remember that show
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Re: Joke thread...

Post by Wirralman » Fri Apr 12, 2013 5:52 pm

Vic wrote:now then pop pickers Eric will remember that show
OOHH Vic , you are awful----but I like you. (you'll remember that one I'll bet)
Eric
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